I feel all inspired by people like George Carlin and Dennis Leary. I wish I could talk shit for a living and get paid for it :)
Maybe this sounds a bit insensitive, and makes me out to be a dick, but… You be the judge :)
TOP TEN PEOPLE(S) THAT SHOULD BE KILLED AND EATEN
1) Fat/ugly women who have license plates that read “Hottie69″ or “luv2foq”, etc
2) Workers in offices who don’t know enough to do their own jobs
3) Politicians that fuck little boys
4) The people who thought up the ads for money tree
5) Ashp (prolly tastes like cinnamon, that ginger fuck!)
6) Forum trolls.
7) People who pretend to be your friend to get free shit, cheap shit, or services
8) Executives who demand shit without knowing what theyre asking for (see #2)
9) Whiny crybaby people who refuse to stand up for themselves, but continue to complain and bitch
10) People that steal shit out of cars.
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/02/05 <--- that describes a LOT of people I work with.. hahaha
If you have any other submissions, let me know :) I can have a monthly cannibal wishlist or something - that would rule!
Oh, so Lisa and I are driving to Vegas last thursday night, and I'm bitching up a storm - like I normally do.. about how the people on the road are usually doing everything except driving, incapable of using their mirrors or turn signals, incapable of being perceptive and should generally be obliterated by the would-be gunmen I'd hire to man the .50 cal machineguns I should install in my jeep. CLEAR THE PATH(*&#@$ RAAAAAH! .. *ahem*. anyway
After my little rant basically looped itself twice, I realized I was droning on like a dickhead. I stopped.
"Wow, I'm repeating myself arent I?"
‘Yea…’
“I do this every trip now dont I?”
‘*laughing* Yeah… haha’
“Wow, I should shut the hell up huh..”
‘Probably’
“Damn.. wow am I bitter? Do I just hate people?.. Nah, I just like the way they taste”
- At this point we nearly crashed laughing, and Lisa insisted on writing that down somewhere.
And now, dinner is served - Today we have HTML with Aus Jus sauce, Peking duck, and a bunch of goodies in a sack!
- they need to adopt those for the typical office droids
- photo snipers, I like em!
- THATS NEAT. I could have many uses for that.
- boioioiooiong
- carlos mencia steals jokes from people! hahaha his name aint even carlos
- FOUR GIGS OF RAM? To run vista ‘efficiently’? DUDE. COME ON.
- DAMN! I want a mind control hand too!
- … thats the day after i turn 30. Great.
- dont buy any cds or music in march! fuck the riaa!
- 2004 through 2008 baby. in a flowchart!
- wow I could REALLY use one of these. Especially when composing emails to our asshat end users.
- wow i can really use one of those too!
