Boy do I have some weird shit for you guys this time

First and foremost I’d like to state that I have some REALLY friggin LOOPY friends :)

Oh man, where to begin.. “Start at the beginning, and when you come to the end… stop!.. for some reason I seem to keep spouting song lyrics and through the looking glass.

Cannibal, Squidy and I went to vegas to visit Jimmah. His girlfriend took off for italy shortly after we visited them for new years, and her birthday was the day after she would return, so we drove out there for a two day partying session.

Pictures!

Its kinda funny, in that zzyzx road pic, you can see some of the gigantic bugs that hit my windshield, and then a pretty decent example of one that hit my headlight ;b .. and my spooky cat. Unfortunately I cant exactly post the video that I had made when we were out there, because It was requested to be taken down. I still have it though, so if youd like a peek, let me know, and ill point you at its ubersecret location! Vegas was fun, and the week off was nice too. I got a buncha shit done, but at the same time, not exactly what I wanted to get done. It took me hell to get my saturn fixed to sell, which I *FINALLY DID TODAY* thank fucking god, and I put it on cars.com. It only took me two goddamned months to find one 3/8ths inch socket to pull the windows out of a saturn. Apparently if you try to go find one of these things in person, you get the finger, the shaft, or a swift boot in the ass anywhere you try to go (sometimes all three! its quite refreshing). Once I finally got this stupid socket, it took me 15 minutes to swap out the windows, then today I spent like 4 hours cleaning the garage, the saturn, and fixing shit around the house. *pant pant* Next on my list is to pick up where I left off on this aforementioned advice collumn, which should hopefully bring a spark of comedy back into this site, as my hits have kinda taken a dump.

NEXT ON THE ADGENDA! - What oddball friends I have. My friend Lacey (yes the one on the portal) is trying to set me up with a girl she knows from work. Why? um.. well from what I heard this girls friend at work who works with the Lacey says that she needs “a good guy”. How curious the guy who shoots things, burns things, and makes jokes about the goatse man eating busses with his asshole is the first name drawn out of the hat when “good guy” becomes a criteria for choice :) The last person Lacey tried to set me up with was like 5 or so years ago. It was this chick named Heather who sounded somewhat interested, and was kinda cute, but was the really ditzy highschool plastic-person stereotype. I was asked to pick Heather up at her house, and when I did I was instructed to drive her to her friends house. A friend on a ‘date?’.. odd.. okay.. no big deal. We get to her friends house, and we get out of the car and Heather starts talking to her friend in the driveway about school stuff. After about 45 minutes or so of the two girls talking about topics I couldnt exactly jump into, they said they were gonna go inside, and Heather thanked me for the ride. What an interesting date, I thought. This being the precursor to this new ‘date’, I didnt exactly expect much when I went to Jareds apartment (which incidentally is in a complex I used to live in.. creepy.). I get there and I am introduced to the girl, whos pretty much fresh off the boat from Russia.. which isnt TOO bad, I mean I can kinda speak russian, and i can understand pretty much everything. No car, No cellphone/pager and I have very little background or information to work with. Now my previous interpretation of the word timid was a trophy im my mind I associated with Laceys name. Though lately that hasnt been the case, but this was something new. That evening Jared, his wife, the girl, and I had dinner, played a 2 hour session of uno, and watched a buncha tv. Not the most spectacular ‘date’, but none the less, better than sitting on irc and watching evilmoose stumble, flail, and piss all over himself trying as hard as he can to push my buttons. The next night Cannibal and I rounded up like 15 people to go play pool at the local poolhall and Jared, his wife and this girl were also invited. I think in um.. probably the 5 hours or so that I’ve been in the presence of this girl shes said maybe 3 full sentances to me. Not a bad thing, but its been two days and I have yet to put together even a general profile for a first impression ;b
To that end, I was recently stuck with a sharp stick in the emotional respect. Im sure before you read this, youll likely notice that there are people missing from the camportal. Its really saddening that as far as I can tell, there is *NOT A SOUL ON THIS PLANET* I can trust with my emotions. *shrug*. I guess its to be expected. We live in a society where everyone (but me, apparently) is more concerned with themselves than anyone else. Too often am I denied favors because my friends are ‘busy’, but really just playing video games, or just dont feel like getting up, or my significant other feels she should express to me every grain of speech that I never ever wanted to hear. At this point I’m kind of unsure how to proceed. As normally this would be viewed as emotional distress or some sort of problem that would manifest itself physically or emotionally, I now see these issues as (if you can belive it) the commander of a large ship. A battleship, if you will, or an aircraft carrier. I see damage reports in my head, and lights flash and sirens go off. I guess its my way of recessing myself into my own head so that the incoming ‘emotional shelling’ if you will, doesnt directly hit *ME* (being a commander who can hide in the fucking toilet stall while the ship sinks). The two choices I face now are 1) continue to mentally recess myself into my brain untill I likely find myself a hermit in my own room (or the looney bin?) or 2) continue on doing my regular thing, having no idea what will happen to me the next time someone pokes me with a sharp stick. *groan*

I recently got my hands on the new Less than jake cd, and mother fucker, every time I get one of their cd’s the day its released, at least 1/3 of the songs on the cd seem to correlate almost DIRECTLY to what I’m dealing with. Of course in a certain light, when you think somethings one way, and then you find out youre not the only one who thinks that way, or has to deal with this “thing” (at least find out directly) you tend to kinda poke your head up from your normal drugdery to have a look around at the situation from, well not neccicarily a birds eye view (im not a damn giraffe!), but a little higher than normal.. kinda like being able to see up across the top of traffic, you get a better view of whats going on. I find it kinda funny how music affects me like this. It used to affect me a lot more when I had the time to just lie around and listen to music, but as of late, its been all running errands, fixing shit, and studing for my japanese class. If you want a copy of the cd, surely let me know. Its good music and I’m more than willing to share it.

New less than jake!
Lyrics I found to apply, at least for now…

“welcome home outcast because I know how you have felt over the years
the truth is that looking at me is like looking in the mirror
and I know how it feels the best part of a running joke, to all of your friends
and to be on the edge of the bed
with your head buried in your hands
wishing everything would end
yeah i know how it feels to be the lonliest”

“And I hope and Hope
you wont forget
and I hope and hope you know I can clearly say
the ghost of you and me
now just a long-gone memory”

I was contemplating, after re-reviewing my situation of contacting my ex and telling her how in retrospect, everything was cool, and all was forgiven. I thought that in the hopes of becoming a less sour and disgruntled bastard, it could be a good first step, but changed my mind as doing so would give the impression that I had been huffing paint, and would likely put some sort of eerie awkward presence between her and I (not like I really see her anyway.. once in 3 months maybe?). Im grateful school is over in a week, as it will give me more time to do things like.. oh.. POST MORE ;b.. host more contests, etc, and finish posting the fansigns page that is currently ‘under construction’.

It’s funny one good cd with a few good tracks can bump your perception enough for you to be able to see things that need changing.

Course it did raise a good question. How much of a statistic am I if a third of this cd I can relate to? How many other kids are there out there like me? Am I part of a stencil? Creepy shit. Its weird seeing how “like everyone else” you are when you put forth so much effort to not “run with the crowd”. I guess that also leads to things like.. oh.. having two people to hangout with, and utterly no prospect of finding a female with similar interests.

AHYES, half of the people I hangout with on a regular basis (being billy) are going to europe for a not-yet-defined amount of time. It would also appear I am about to have quite a bit more free time on my hands.

Anyone down for a game of cards?

teh eofz0rz.

oh by the way
this is me